Managing Homesickness: Tips for College and University Students

Moving away for college or university can be an incredibly exciting time, and it can also potentially be a time of uncertainty, fear, and anxiety. When I see teen clients preparing to head away to college or university, I often discuss this quote – “Fear is just excitement in need of an attitude adjustment.” In other words, there is a very fine line that can exist between our energy and feelings related to nervousness and feeling low and ‘nervous excitement’ and optimism. 

Below are some strategies and ideas I may explore with my clients when it comes to adjusting to this next stage in their lives:

Setting Goals: The First Two Weeks

Going into the first week of college or university can be overwhelming, not only with a new and

unknown living situation and classes, but also with wondering what to do outside of class and

study time. Setting 3 to 5 goals for this time that are focused on making social connections,

becoming comfortable with the campus and social community, and any new activities (E.g.,

sports or clubs) can be a big support to lessen anxiety, fear, and/or stress with this major life adjustment.

Why Doing the Opposite Can Help

When we go through a considerable life transition with so many varying emotions present, the mind will often want to protect us and keep us safe by any means possible. It will often tempt us with removing ourselves from stressful situations and avoiding those that cause any discomfort. In therapy, it is common for clients to be actively practicing what we call gradual exposure when feeling this way. By actually challenging our thoughts and behaviours that our mind presents us with when stressed in this situation, exposing ourselves to the stressful environment even for a short period of time can help our mind relax and clear the thoughts or feelings of distress. Doing this gradually over several days can make a world of difference for first year students.

Schedule And Routine

Feeling anxious, stressed, and in a low mood when missing home can throw us off course when it comes to our daily schedules and feeling positive and organized. Students are never perfect with this, and that’s okay. When these feelings persist and start impacting daily life, resetting and writing out a few tasks or activities that we can do each day of the week can help us not only stay focused, but gives us something to look back on to remind us of our weekly responsibilities and goals.

No Need to Forget What We Love About Home

While it is great to try and gently push yourself to engage in and enjoy all that post secondary education has to offer, giving yourself time to miss home is important. Having comforting items from home like pictures, photo albums on your phone, meaningful gifts from family, scheduling FaceTime and phone calls with family and friends, and scheduling trips home for visits are key in a gradual adjustment to college or university life. Change is incredibly hard, especially for a teen making such a big life transition. Remembering that home can be with us in many ways can allow for a fun and exciting first few weeks of school.

If you are finding the transition from home life to university unmanageable consider reaching out to a trusted support person or professional therapist for support. Our team all offer free 15 minute consultations both in person and virtually to make sure you find the right fit for you!